Question

Discuss positive and challenging aspects of parenting adolescents. Be sure to include two positive influences that parents have on their adolescent children and two potential challenges that parents may experience while parenting their adolescent son or daughter. When are these challenges most likely to occur?

Answer 1

• We must, first and foremost, make sure that we don’t act aggressively toward their aggression, which is so often the case in traditional discipline when a child is spanked or shamed for hitting. This means we have to be in control of our reaction.
• These challenges are most likely to occur with children of age group 10-17.
• The next step is to get the child out of the situation. I recommend a time-in, putting the child onto your lap or sitting near you. The purpose of the time-in is to calm the child down and get his or her brain out of that reactive fight or flight state.
• Much of the traditional discipline techniques do not calm children’s brain but, in fact, do just the opposite, and a brain locked in that state can’t reason well. This is why we take the time-in which both sets the limit of “I won’t let you hit” and provides space and skill to calm down so that he or she can be rational again.
• Once the brain is out of fight or flight, discuss alternatives and ask the child how he or she is going to solve the problem, which in this case is an upset friend.
• We need to be teaching our children to be emotionally intelligent by practicing scenarios that will greatly lessen the chance that hitting will occur.

• Older children may “tantrum” or essentially “throw a fit” if they feel they are being treated unfairly (adults do this, too, unfortunately). This is a signal that they need help developing better emotional control and learning how to express emotions appropriately.

• There is no simple technique that will stop tantrums by children of any age, and the complex reasons behind the behavior are as unique as the children experiencing them. Of course, limits should be set on hitting, kicking, throwing things, slamming doors, and other destructive behaviors that may result from an outburst.