Question

In: Psychology

In your own words, discuss some recommendations for improving communication in dating relationships to reduce the...

In your own words, discuss some recommendations for improving communication in dating relationships to reduce the possibility of mixed messages.

Solutions

Expert Solution

A mixed message is a message that can be taken different ways. Mixed messages cause lots of communication problems in intimate relationships and in relationships in general.

First of all, you need to know when you’re are getting a double or mixed message. The way you know is by your feelings (confused) and your thoughts (puzzled). These feelings and thoughts are your cues to guide what you say and do in response.

When messages do not match they are incongruent and come in various forms.

1. What a person says conflicts with what they said previously.

2. What a person does conflicts with what they did previously.

3. What a person says conflicts with what they do.

4. What a person says conflicts with their body language.

When you receive a double or mixed message, without expectation or demand for change, send both messages back to the sender. Give both message back as feedback to the sender. Report what was said, what was observed and describe behaviors. When you communicate in this way, the sender is more likely to respond in a positive reasonable way. If you respond in an attacking, blaming, contemptuous or sarcastic manner then the sender is mostly likely to be hurt, angry and defensive.

You cannot control how the sender receives your feedback; you can only control how you deliver it.

WHEN WORDS DO NOT MATCH WORDS: Examples of what to say.

1. Last week you said your think mothers should stay home with their babies (words) and now you’re saying mothers should work outside the home to be good role models for their children (words). I’m wondering which you believe or if you believe both.

2. I’m having trouble figuring this out. You just told me you love me very much (words) and now you’re saying you need some space from me (words).

WHEN WORD DO NOT MATCH BEHAVIORS: Examples of what to say.

1. I don’t get it. You complain about me not helping (words) yet you re-do everything I do (behaviors).

2. I’m confused. You say you want me to be affectionate (words) yet when I touch you, you push me away (behaviors).

3. I’m confused. You said you would help me (words) but now you’re going to the store.

4. I’m puzzled. You said you wanted to spend more time with your kids (words) but when they are here, you often go off by yourself (behaviors).

WHEN WORDS DO NOT MATCH BODY LANGUAGE. Examples of what to say.

1. I’m puzzled. You say you’re fine (words) yet you look sad (body language).

2. I’m confused. You said you like my plans for Saturday night (words) yet the tone of your voice has an angry edge to it (body language).

3. You say you’re listening to me (words) but you have not looked at me (body language), so I’m not sure.

You cannot stop or prevent your partner from sending you mixed messages. What you can do is change how you respond to them. By telling the other about your confusion you are letting them know the impact of their behavior on you. This has the potential to improve communication.

When the other knows they are sending mixed messages, they can clarify. It could be that they are not really conflicted and don’t realize they are sounding or acting like they are.

If the sender is truly conflicted, however, your feedback brings their incongruence to their attention. It’s like holding a mirror up to them so that they can more clearly see themselves. Now, if they want, they can address it. This too, has the potential to improve communication.


Related Solutions

Discuss in your own words the major characteristics of a Project. In your own words, describe...
Discuss in your own words the major characteristics of a Project. In your own words, describe the benefits of a structured Project approach.
What are some considerations for improving communication in a diverse environment? and examples
What are some considerations for improving communication in a diverse environment? and examples
Explain, in your own words, the relationships among growth, comfort zone, and fear.
Explain, in your own words, the relationships among growth, comfort zone, and fear.
Please paraphrase the following in your own words. Technological Innovation Next to improving methods of fossil...
Please paraphrase the following in your own words. Technological Innovation Next to improving methods of fossil fuel production to reduce climate impact, and biofuels, an important area of investment to be mentioned are new offshore wind parks (solar energy has been abandoned as a major R&D area in 2008). An offshore wind farm (108 MWh) has been developed with energy provider Nuon, 10 km west of the Dutch coast at Egmond aan Zee (5). Shells offshore technical knowledge with oil...
Describe and discuss in your own words adolescent sexuality. Use own words please
Describe and discuss in your own words adolescent sexuality. Use own words please
In your own words, how has Internet dating changed the way people connect and meet? What...
In your own words, how has Internet dating changed the way people connect and meet? What are the pros and cons to forging new relationships in this manner? Conclude with online dating safety tips.
Accounting question: please provide a few in your own words Are there any recommendations you would...
Accounting question: please provide a few in your own words Are there any recommendations you would make to improve the cash conversion cycle?
Accounting question: please provide a few in your own words Are there any recommendations you would...
Accounting question: please provide a few in your own words Are there any recommendations you would make to improve the cash conversion cycle?
Please write using your own words the importances of listening in human communication as a nurse....
Please write using your own words the importances of listening in human communication as a nurse. give a deeper understanding.Include definitions, examples, descriptions, and specific details.Please use facts.
In your own words (250 words) explain, define, discuss Regulating Markets.
In your own words (250 words) explain, define, discuss Regulating Markets.
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT