Question

What are the most productive ways to interact with someone who has said something offensive or harmful? this would be someone that you dont know personally, that isn't a friend or family member. imagine, for example that might be a professor, the Mayor of NYC, the US president, or perhaps a celebrety, athlete, or public figure like Elon Musk. explain your choices

Answer 1

Abstract

To be productive we need to plan some things in advance and there takes several years to build the habits to achieve the result by being productive.

One of the easiest and most practical things you can do is to break down your most important goal into smaller goals.

But what if someone who has said something offensive or harmful to you, in such a case to interact with such person you need to find some different ways / Productive ways.

For Example, Your Profession says something that immediately makes you feel uncomfortable. He thinks he’s just being funny, but the comment is inappropriate - maybe even offensive, sexist, or racist.

What should you say or do if you find yourself in this situation ?

Is there a way to draw attention to the comment without making the situation worse?

And are you risking your reputation or career by speaking up?

But before speaking up, you need to remember some principles, Like..

• Think carefully about whether you want to speak up, weighing the costs and benefits of doing so.
• Recognize that if you are in a position of power, you have a responsibility to address offensive comments and create an inclusive work environment.
• Ask questions that encourage the person reflect on what they said and clear up any misunderstandings.

To deal with such situation - I have listed below some ways to be most productive while dealing with such persons :

1) You need to  Accept your emotional response

It’s normal to feel mad, upset, or confused. “When someone does something to violate your identity, you might get angry. It’s a natural response when our humanity is denied,

In such situation you need to slowing down and thinking through what just happened.

Ask yourself why you are having the emotional response that you are, and give yourself time to feel those emotions before you decide what to do

Let your own emotions get the best out of you, there is no necessary that you should get the results that you wanted, Your initial goal is to make a rational decision, one that you’ll feel good about later on, for how to respond.

2) You need to Explain your reaction to the comment

Tell the person how their comment makes you feel. You might say, “I know it wasn’t your intent, but that made me uncomfortable” or “I’m confused by what you said.”

“When you said that my hair is unprofessional, it made me feel like you didn’t value me as a human being.”

Don’t think of this approach as sidestepping the issue, it’s actually “more likely to change their behavior in future situations” because it shows the person the negative impact their statements can have and why they should change.

3) You need to ask Ask a question

Follow your initial statement with a question like “What did you mean by that comment ? Let the the person is just clueless and doesn’t know how their behavior is being interpreted.

Be compassionate if possible. By engaging the person in a discussion, you can explore their biases and try to clear up any possible misunderstandings.

You might even ask them to simply repeat what they said. This will prompt them to think through what they meant by the remark, as well as its effect on others.