Question

What personal changes do you need to make as you prepare yourself to be a professional?

Answer 1

Note the inner struggle.

You may not even realize that there is an inner struggle if you see the improvements you want to make. For instance, you can feel confident your decision to return to school if you wish to progress in your career and realize that you have an advanced degree. Then you may feel frustrated or upset about your failure when you don't look into programs.

Similarly, you might have difficulty with knowing you need to lose weight, but not taking serious action. With a little introspection, you might gain clarity about having mixed feelings – such as being scared about investing so much time and money into school or realizing that you sometimes feel like you need to eat as a way to cope with stress.

You should look at it more closely once you are aware of your ambivalence.

You should determine the time and money investments in school with the probable payoff. Even if that doesn't leave you with a straightforward choice, at least it will help you consider the barriers to your further education. You will then continue to work on this goal. Likewise, if you want to shed a few pounds, it is important to know that you are relying on food to control your stress. It lets you know that new stress management competencies are key to weight loss.

To minimize self-criticism, use greater self-awareness to advance your goals.

Rather than beating yourself up for not enrolling in school or for not maintaining a diet, focus on understanding the problem and really “get it” – in other words, to have more empathy for your dilemma. To help yourself do this, look at yourself in this situation as you would look at a friend. Feel how difficult it is. Be open to feeling the wish to make it better for yourself. This wish is a feeling of compassion, and it will help to calm you enough to let go of your harsh self-criticism. You will be freer to refocus on the problem and decide the best way to proceed.

Act to inspire more people.

Beware of the unpleasant stuff that happen as you are. You will still only be in your current job if you do not stay in education. And that means you do not lose weight ... and even gain more weight, if you do not change your eating habits. Know the good factors for the transition as well. Think if you feel better about yourself and better opportunities for jobs if you go back to school. When you lose weight, think about how you are going to be happier and look better. You can find it helpful to write down the negative consequences and the positive reasons for the transition.