Question

Compare the internal working model to adult romantic relationships

Answer 1

• The child’s attachment relationship with their primary caregiver leads to the development of an internal working model.This internal working model is a cognitive framework comprising mental representations for understanding the world, self, and others. A person’s interaction with others is guided by memories and expectations from their internal model which influence and help evaluate their contact with others.
• Around the age of three, these seem to become part of a child’s personality and thus affects their understanding of the world and future interactions with others. According to Bowlby (1969), the primary caregiver acts as a prototype for future relationships via the internal working model.
• There are three main features of the internal working model: (1) a model of others as being trustworthy, (2) a model of the self as valuable, and (3) a model of the self as effective when interacting with others.
• It is this mental representation that guides future social and emotional behavior as the child’s internal working model guides their responsiveness to others in general.
• From the relationship with your parents and caregivers, you learn how to love, hate, trust, treat strangers, and anticipate outcomes to various situations. This in turn has an effect on adult relationships as well. This model is a key aspect of Bowlby's attachment theory.
• An attachment pattern is established in early childhood attachments and continues to function as a working model for relationships in adulthood.
• A child who as highly responsive and caring parents will develop trust and ultimately a secure attachment leading to develop positive relationships as adults because they have received that trust from their parents which will make the person confident as an adult to get into romantic relationships.They will understand the meaning mutual trust and caring for each other.
• As infants interact with their caregivers and the world, they begin to internalize those experiences and form schema, or thoughts; the more experiences, the more thoughts are created and built upon. Think of schema as Lego blocks; the more pieces you collect, the larger the structure you can build.
• The best part of the internal working model is that it serves as reference center; as you encounter new situations, you can refer back to your past to learn from and make decisions about current and future responses.
• When there is a secure attachment pattern, a person is confident and self-possessed and is able to easily interact with others, meeting both their own and another’s needs.
• Securely attached adults tend to be more satisfied in their relationships. Children with a secure attachment see their parent as a secure base from which they can venture out and independently explore the world.
• A secure adult has a similar relationship with their romantic partner, feeling secure and connected, while allowing themselves and their partner to move freely.
• Secure adults offer support when their partner feels distressed. They also go to their partner for comfort when they themselves feel troubled. Their relationship tends to be honest, open and equal, with both people feeling independent, yet loving toward each other.
• However, when there is an anxious or avoidant attachment pattern, and a person picks a partner who fits with that maladaptive pattern, he or she will most likely be choosing someone who isn’t the ideal choice to make him or her happy.
• Unlike securely attached couples, people with an anxious attachment tend to be desperate to form a fantasy bond. Instead of feeling real love or trust toward their partner, they often feel emotional hunger. They’re frequently looking to their partner to rescue or complete them. Although they’re seeking a sense of safety and security by clinging to their partner, they take actions that push their partner away.
• People with a dismissive avoidant attachment have the tendency to emotionally distance themselves from their partner. They may seek isolation and feel “pseudo-independent,” taking on the role of parenting themselves. They often come off as focused on themselves and may be overly attending to their creature comforts.
• A person with a fearful avoidant attachment lives in an ambivalent state, in which they are afraid of being both too close to or too distant from others. They attempt to keep their feelings at bay but are unable to.
• As adults, these individuals tend to find themselves in rocky or dramatic relationships, with many highs and lows. They often have fears of being abandoned but also struggle with being intimate. They may cling to their partner when they feel rejected, then feel trapped when they are close. Oftentimes, the timing seems to be off between them and their partner. A person with fearful avoidant attachment may even wind up in an abusive relationship.