Question

Lily is 20 months old. This is the second time she has bitten another child today. Lily’s mom is very upset and may pull her out.

Using positive communication techniques, how would you handle this scenario?

Answer 1

• Biting is a typical behavior often seen in infants, toddlers, and 2-year olds. As children mature, gain self-control, and develop problem-solving skills, they usually outgrow this behavior. While not uncommon, biting can be an upsetting and potentially harmful behavior. It’s best to discourage it from the very first episode.
• A child might bite to:-
• Relieve pain from teething.
• Explore cause and effect (“What happens when I bite?”).
• Experience the sensation of biting.
• Satisfy a need for oral-motor stimulation.
• Imitate other children and adults.
• Feel strong and in control.
• Get attention.
• Act in self-defense.
• Communicate needs and desires, such as hunger or fatigue.
• Communicate or express difficult feelings, such as frustration, anger, confusion, or fear (“There are too many people here and I feel cramped”).
• There are a variety of things that families can do to prevent biting:-
• Have age-appropriate expectations for your child’s behavior based on his or her current skills and abilities.
• Make sure your child’s schedule, routines, and transitions are predictable and consistent. At meal and bedtimes, try to do things in the same way and at the same times. Young children thrive when they know what will happen next.
• Offer activities and materials that allow your child to relax and release tension. Some children like yoga or deep breathing. Offer playdough, foam balls, bubbles, soft music, and other stress-reducing items.
• Use positive guidance strategies to help your child develop self-control. For example, offer gentle reminders, phrased in a way that tells them what behaviors are expected. “Be sure to hang up your coat on the hook.” “You can each have a bucket to use in the sandbox.” “Put a small dot of toothpaste on your brush. You won’t need much to get your teeth clean.”
• Provide items to bite, such as teething rings or clean, wet, cold washcloths stored in the refrigerator. This helps children learn what they can bite safely, without hurting anyone else.
• Infants learn about the world around them by exploring it with their hands, eyes, and mouths. But infants often need help to learn what they should and shouldn’t bite.
• If the infant takes an experimental bite like in Lily's case, stay calm and use clear signals to communicate that it is not okay for one person to bite another. A firm “no” or “no biting!” is an appropriate response.
• Offer foods with a variety of textures to meet your child’s sensory needs.
• Distract your child with a toy or book. Suggest looking out the window or take a walk to another room or outside. The goal is to reduce the tension and shift your child’s attention.
• Often when a child bites, adults pay a lot of attention to him or her. This is usually negative attention, but it is still very reinforcing and can actually cause the biting behavior to continue, rather than stop. When parents shift their focus and energy to the child who was bitten, they clearly communicate that biting does not result in more attention. Showing concern and sympathy for the child who was bitten also teaches empathy.