In: Operations Management
Need a Position statement over mentors changing your life. how, why, whatever information you feel is relevant.
How did you meet your mentor?
I met my mentor Larry Bugen about 13 years ago when my colleague and I were interested in starting a private practice. We were looking for office space when Larry, a well-known couples psychologist, was downsizing his practice. Friends connected us. As I shared office space with Larry, we got to know one another and started to realize how much we thought alike. He was 20 years older than me, so there was that affection of a fatherly figure and I looked up to him, but it never felt like a superior-inferior relationship. It was more like we were equals.
How did your mentor help you succeed?
Larry had a lot of confidence in me and believed in me when I wasn't able to believe in myself. One year, for example, I gave a talk at the Texas Psychological Association's annual meeting about couples therapy and trauma, and he sat in on my two-hour workshop. After it was over, he told me it was a good workshop, but I had deferred too much to other people's work during the talk. He encouraged me to believe in my own ideas and theories and spend more time on that.
He also wasn't afraid to share with me the mistakes that he made from time to time. When I was hesitant to take on a couple due to the potential legal issues involved, he would share what he would have done differently when he took on a case that was similar. When I felt too biased toward one person in a couple, he would tell stories of when it happened to him. He also taught me that it's OK to make mistakes, and that I could get through any mistake if I worked to repair it.
How are you paying it forward by mentoring others?
I have taught various counseling classes and practicum courses at the St. Edward's University master's of counseling program in Austin, which gives me an opportunity to supervise people who are working in the field. I always choose to teach in an experiential way and I'm not afraid to show my own vulnerabilities and mistakes. Larry taught me to be real, and that's how I want to be with mentees. During the live demonstrations, I try to give positive and encouraging feedback rather than simply pointing out what they've done wrong.
Now I'm entering a phase of life in which people are starting to seek me out to be their mentor, and that is a new thing for me. Mentoring others inspires confidence and wisdom in my skills as a therapist. I cannot believe I've been on this journey for 20 years. It's time to give back and I am eager to do so.