Question

• Why do you think so many people are hesitant to talk about sexual pleasure? How do you decide whether a sexual behavior is "normal"?
• Do you think people should be allowed to engage in BDSM (or other sexual behaviors or expressions), as long as they don't hurt anyone?
• Kiki realizes that some people don't understand her behavior and they may see it as distasteful, perverted or abnormal. Given that, should we as a society stop her from doing it? Do you think she is sick?

400 words required.

Answer 1

Although pop culture is littered with images of and allusions to sex and sexual acts, it is quite ironical that people hesitate to talk about sexual pleasure. A major part of the problem is that any genuine discussion about sex as an intimate need is still avoided, whereas its representation as a superficial act signifying "open mindedness" has given way to too many people engaging in sex without really introspecting about how they view the concept, what they wish to derive from it, and how it is shaping their beliefs about themselves and others. For instance, is oversexualization of women in popular media leading to an unconscious tendency to evaluate women on the basis of their physicality in our daily lives? These are questions that need to be engaged with to really open up the discussion relating to sex on pertinent topics, such as that of sexual pleasure.

As for the categorization of what sexual behavior is normal, I think one needs to consider not just the physical, but also the psychological impact of the act. Some sexual behavior involves physical abuse, which would, for most people, be vetoed out as harmful, and hence "abnormal." But what about psychological abuse? A person insulting the other person by calling them names in the course of a sexual act is psychologically damaging. Can we really deny these claims basis the excuse that the two people are "willing" partners in the act? Isn't sexual behavior a reflection of the society that we live in as well? These factors need to be taken into consideration while making such categorizations.

The second question is entwined with the latter part of the first question. Again, the lines are blurry; some forms of BDSM or other sexual behavior could be experimentation. However, some of them are extremely violent. Even experimentation will need a limit, as ultimately sexuality is tied to other aspects of our life, such as self-esteem and intimacy. I would say that these uncommon aspects of sexual behavior may need more study in terms of how they relate to other psychological attributes. Maybe then a more conclusive answer can be determined. For the time being though, in sex, it is important to respect the other person and their body. Hurt is not just physical; it can also be psychological. And if an act is disrespecting the person-either their body or their sense of self-then it is highly unlikely that anything positive is going to come out of the act for the people involved. There may be immediate sensory/physiological gratification or even the fulfillment of certain short-term psychological needs. But one may need to consider what the long term effects of such acts are and make an individual choice.

Please note that I am unable to answer the last question on Kiki as the background on who she is and what she engages in that leads people to call her behavior distasteful and abnormal is not clear in the question.