Question

In your own words, how might some noncoercive paraphilias be best handled in a relationship (e.g., fetishes)?

Answer 1

Paraphilia refers to deviant preference to sexual activities or behavior. We can broadly classify paraphilia as noncoercive paraphilia and coercive paraphilia.

In coercive paraphilia, an individual may force unwilling people to have sexual excitement and may cause harm to others. In noncoercive paraphilia, an individual seeks excitement through solo activities or with willingness of other party like having fantasies, fetishes, sadomasochism, etc.

Fetishism refers to sexual arousal or gratification from inanimate objects like shoes, undergarments, clothes. Also, obsession to nonsexual part of human body like feet and legs may be observed as deviant sexual behaviors and classified as noncoercive paraphilia. Even though these behaviors usually do not harm other party in relationship, but can make them feel bizarre about the individual who is indulged in these activities. To handle such behaviors of individuals, some of the below ideas can be followed:

1. Try to explore the reason behind such deviant sexual behavior and help individual to cope with that kind of behavior. Example: Some childhood experiences may have resulted in pain-seeking sexual behavior; this can be reduced by listening to such experiences and trying to clarify that association is null.

2. Understand the individuals and support them if these behaviors are not harmful to any people including individuals themselves.

3. Thorough counseling support can help the individuals to express their past experiences and learning. Here, operant conditioning can be used to reduce their fantasies.

4. If the deviant behaviors are harmful to individuals like sadomasochism and bondage, then partners should provide support as well as seek help of mental health professionals to reduce the urges to indulge in such activities.

5. If the individual is made aware that such associative sexual gratification is not useful and there are more in relationship, then individual may withdraw from such activities.

These are some points which can be followed to handle individuals with noncoercive paraphilia in relationship or family.