Question

In: Finance

Revise these sentences to improve you-attitude. Eliminate any awkward phrasing. In some cases, you may need...

Revise these sentences to improve you-attitude. Eliminate any awkward phrasing. In some cases, you may need to add information to revise the sentence effectively.

We are please to offer you the ability to sign up for dental coverage in the cloud.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

You will be happy to know that you have unlimited texting anywhere in your province.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

After hours of hard work, I have negotiated a new employee benefit for you.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I urge you to attend a meeting about the new benefits package so that we can inform you about your rights and responsibilities.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

You will be happy to learn that additional cards for your spouse or child are free.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

We have added another employee benefit for you.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Today we shipped the book you ordered.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

In your report you forgot to tell how many people you surveyed.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I hope that it is obvious to you that we want to give you the very best prices on furniture.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

You didn’t order enough doughnuts for the meeting.

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

You-Attitude Practice Sheet

Revise the following email to improve the you-attitude.

It has come to my attention that there are visitors to the company that are showing themselves to offices. Said practice should not continue.

There should be no unescorted visitors walking through the offices. We must insist that you ensure that all the visitors check in with either the 8th floor receptionist or the 9th floor receptionist. The receptionist will contact the employee that the visitor is here to see, and the employee will have to go to the reception area to escort the visitor.

It is asked that you instruct any visitors that you are expecting to check in with the receptionist, and that you escort your visitor back to your work area from the receptionist area once you are called. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to call me.

Thanks in advance for your cooperation.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Solutions

Expert Solution

PART 1:-

We are pleased to inform you the ability to signup for dental coverage in the cloud .

You will be happy to know that you have unlimited texting anywhere in the province.

After hours of hard work, we have negotiated a new employee benefit for you.

We urge you to attend a meeting about the new benefits package so that you can be informed about your rights and responsibilities.

You will be happy to know that additional cards foryour spouse and children are free.

Today the book has been shipped that was ordered by you.

You forgot to mention the number of people you surveyed in your report.

You didn't order the right amount of doughnuts for the meeting .

PART2:-

You must have heard about the visitors of the company who don't want the practice to continue.

There should be no unescorted visitors walking through the offices.We must insist that you ensure that all of them checkin with either the 8th floor receptionist or the 9th floor receptionist.

When the receptionist contacts the employee that a visitor has come ,the employee will have to go the reception to escort the visitor.

It is asked from to instruct any visitor to check in with the receptionist and may escort your visitor back to the work area once you are called.

If you have any queries ,please do not hesitate to call me.

Thank you in advance for the cooperation .

jeff jeffy answered 1 year ago
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