Question

Please check my grammar and sentence structure..and make sense. Thanks!

According to “Exploring Business” by Karen Collins, In choosing a location, managers must consider several factors which include location close to suppliers and customers to minimize shipping costs, location with enough numbers of skilled workers, locations where people can enjoy living, locations where costs for resources and expenses are low, locations with a favorable business climate. A location I would recommend would be Waikiki beach. Waikiki Beach is a legendary surfer’s paradise with mellow waves, fascinating surf culture and plenty of aloha spirit and it has the potential to see surf at any time during the year. In my opinion, I think demand is the most important for choosing a location. Waikiki beach is internationally known as the best place for vacation, so I can expect the high demand for a year.

Since the place is popular for surfing, many people who visit Waikiki beach would like to learn how to surf from specialized surfers and they look for someone who has knowledge about surfing. Because of this situation, there would be many people who are skilled and specialized surfers. In other words, it can be easy to get enough numbers of skilled workers for managers.

Also, it’s locations where they and their families will enjoy living. A few years ago, I visited Waikiki beach with my family. All members of my family told that it is the first time I have such a nice and clean environment. That means they are definitely able to release their stresses by nature and the place. Therefore, if the two surfers have a business in Waikiki beach, not only they can enjoy their business, they can overcome even if they have a hard time because of the beautiful place and nature.

Lastly, Waikiki beach requires less expenses in terms of labor. According to Mike Maciag, Hawaii average hourly wage is $19.24. it is cheaper than another location which is popular for the beach, California. California's average hourly wage is $19.67. I believe that since there is a high demand of skilled and specialized surfer who are looking for a job, the wage should decrease which is a benefit for owners.

Overall, I believe that they will succeed in their business in Waikiki beach with the three factors that I mentioned.

Answer 1

Overall the post is written in an interesting manner without any grammatical errors. But I have made changes to the post to make it more engaging.

In choosing a location, managers must consider several factors which include location:-

• which is close to suppliers and customers to minimize shipping costs,
• has a high number of skilled workers,
• where people can enjoy living,
• where costs for resources and expenses are low,  
• with a favorable business climate.

A location I would recommend would be Waikiki beach. Waikiki Beach is a legendary surfer’s paradise with mellow waves, fascinating surf culture and plenty of aloha spirit and it has the potential to see surf at any time during the year. As demand is the most important factor for choosing a location, Waikiki beach has high demand as the best place for vacation. This means good for year-round business.

Since the place is popular for surfing, many people who visit Waikiki beach would like to learn how to surf from specialized surfers and they look for someone who has knowledge about surfing. The area has highly skilled surfers which means it is easier for managers to find skilled workers here.

Also, the location offers plenty of enjoyment for families. A few years ago, I visited Waikiki beach with my family. My family really loved the clean environment of Waikiki Beach. That means tourists are definitely able to release their stresses by indulging in the natural beauty of the place.

Therefore not only surfers can find a regular business on the beach, but they can also overcome stress because of location's natural beauty and tranquility.

Lastly, Waikiki beach requires less expenses in terms of labor. According to Mike Maciag, Hawaii average hourly wage is $19.24. It is cheaper than another location which is popular for the beach, California. California's average hourly wage is $19.67. I believe that since there is high availability for skilled and specialized surfers who are looking for a job, the wage should decrease which is a benefit for owners.

Overall, I believe that they will succeed in their business on Waikiki beach with the factors that I mentioned.