Question

Find a press release or professional communication from a credible organization that could benefit from a revision. Revise the letter or release to make it more effective, using the information from this module. Explain all of your changes and the explanation for each. Include the original text in your submission.

Answer 1

A press release or professional communication

A press release is a written or recorded communication directed at new media for the purpose of announcing something newsworthy. These are mailed to assignment editors at newspapers, radio stations, magazines, and, news networks. This can also be done through commercial press release distribution.

It should not be sent to the same person at the same time.

A study says $4 billion community development program is failing

Change to - Work Group for the community development reform releases study critical of community & housing development program

The above is precise and strong; not a weak statement

The report mentions school violence

Weak sentence - Report on school violence released by the Government

Strong sentence - Eastside middle school teachers protest violence in schools following the shocking report

It mentions certain steps that can be taken

Rectified to - It calls for certain steps to be taken, for instance, send information each quarter to control community & school violence

Changes required

• Make sentences specific
• Imply or describe a conflict
• Refer to actions rather than events
• All elements are attention grabbers; the more of these elements in a press release, the wider its reach
• It should mention What, Where, Who, Why, When, and, How

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