Question

Habit 4 is Think Win-Win. In a minimum of 500 words Describe 4 ways you can make deposits in other people's emotional bank accounts. Describe a withdrawal that you have been guilty of. What deposits that others have made in your EBA have been most meaningful?

Answer 1

It can be difficult to Think Win-Win in the face of someone else getting something you want or trying to teach children that they can accept when things don’t exactly go their way. Dr. Covey reminds us to be aware of two things that can inhibit us form Thinking Win-Win. Those two enemies of win-win are Competing and Comparing. Competing – In many ways competing can be very healthy. It helps us strive to do our best, to improve, to reach and stretch. It makes us prosper. Competition is healthy when you compete against yourself, or when it challenges you to reach and stretch and become your best. Competition is unhealthy when you connect your self-worth to winning and you feel as though if you don’t win then you are a “loser”. Also, when you develop a win-at-any-cost attitude, you make withdrawals from important relationships and create situations where even you feel like winning was not worth the other person feeling so awful. Teach children that developing and improving their skills is the joy in life, not beating out other people. Comparing – Comparing yourself to others is never a healthy exercise. Why you ask, because we are all on different developmental schedules. We are all on our own course, specially designed for us, where we make individual choices and have individual triumphs. Looking at and comparing ourselves against other people causes us to fluctuate between feeling superior and inferior to others constantly. The only good comparison is comparing yourself against your own potential. Help children not to fall into comparing by modeling for them and refusing to draw comparisons between them and their siblings or peers. Ways to practice Think Win-Win at home: Spend time with your children writing down things they enjoy and are successful at. Help them focus on ways they want to continue to improve in those areas and create a plan for doing so. Model for children a Win-Win attitude when you are out in public in different situations. When you get home talk about how you kept a situation as a Win-Win instead of turning someone, even yourself, into a loser. When your children play sports or participate in competitive situations, make sure that they know you want them to compete as long as it is enjoyable for them, and that winning is not the goal or focus. Focus on recreation and self-improvement and avoid comparing them to other members of the team or of the family