Question

Pretend that you are a psychologist who is meeting with a client concerned about her 14-year-old. Your client tells you that she is not sure what to expect, now that her child is becoming a teenager. She asks you, "What is going to happen to my child biologically, psychologically, and socially over the next few years?" She also wants to know how she can build a strong relationship with her teenage child and better cope during these many developments.

Answer 1

Firstly, being a psychologist my first and foremost priority would be to put my client at ease by telling her that it is normal for every parent to be concerned about their child especially when they are about to undergo a major transition in their lives i.e. entering into the teen-age. Several biological changes occur when a child enters adolescence. A spurt is seen in the levels of sex hormones which are responsible for the development of certain physical attributes that are different in males and females. The biological changes will make the child develop curiority to know more about his body. The hormones will also be instrumental in the psychological makeup of the child. The child in his teenage usually becomes 'narcissistic'. He is his own hero and believes whatever he thinks/feels is the only reality. He begins to form fantasies and it is pretty much possible that he defies his own parents at times. Talking about the social aspect, the child might develop attraction towards the opposite sex and moves a step beyond the platonic love. The reason for this could also be traced back to the changes in hormones. He wants to satisfy his sexual urges and looks for a partner to confide in. He wants a partner who loves him the way he loves himself and this is merely a form of self-centric love or infatuation and therefore chances are rare that such bonds turn into life long commitments. All the above stated points are true for both the genders.

The way in which I, being a psychologist, can guide the mother is described as under-

You(the mother) should spend as much quality time with your child as possible so that a point comes when he feels comfortable enough opening up to you and asking for your choices and opinions in his decision making. You should handle the child with love rather than rebuking him. It would empower him to be independent but in a responsible way. Moments of love, respect and mutual aggrement would be enough to maintain a healthy relationship with your child. Lastly, as I mentioned when the child undergoes such developmental changes he becomes curious. It would be best that you, as a parent, address his curosities and make him knowledgable about the facts. You should tell him that there is always a room for discussion whenever something bothers him. This would refrain him from believing the information that isn't credible. At the end, you should understand that its just a phase and it too shall pass with mutual cooperation and understanding. For your child, it will be a growth period (both physically and mentally) and if helped with could transform him into a mature and responsible adult.