Question

Your brother just instant messaged you at 4:00 in the morning (you were studying for a test, so you were fully alert). He says he just got a call from his daughter's friend who told him that his 14-year-old daughter (Denise) was really drunk and was being driven home from the beach by another friend. Apparently several friends were on the beach drinking all night and your brother didn't even know his daughter had left the house.

1.Explain to your brother about the changes going on in his daughter; physically, emotionally and socially.

2.Offer him advice on how to handle the situation when she gets home in a few minutes. Apply (and explain) the principles of good parenting.

Answer 1

1. Denise is going through the phase of adolescence where she is changing physically that is she is attaining adulthood and sexual maturity. Now, her friends would be more important to her and she would like to do activities that would gain her popularity and acceptance in her peer group. Emotionally she would be finding out her own identity that would make her sometimes upset, and confused.

2. The children at this stage needs to be treated with respect. They want their autonomy and are easily emotionally fluctuated. Hence, the parents are required to be empathetic instead of being more authoritative. They should understand the changes and confusions that their children are going through. Hence, instead of confronting Denise immediately as soon as she returns, she should be let to have good sleep. Once awake she should not be interrogated as a guilty person, but, the parent should express his real concern and should ask her to reflect her behavior in a more positive manner. She should be told of the negative impacts of drinking alcohol in a warm manner, and should be made to reflect upon. The parent should be adviced to have a cordial relationship with her daughter, and should be encouraged to have quality time with his daughter so as to know her more, to know her interests and to guide her without interfering in her life.