Question

What would be your advice for a new negotiator (e.g., some do’s and don’t`s)? Give them a good start. Use a “top ten” list format if you like (but give more than Letterman one-liners).

Answer 1

1. Be dare  to ask for what you want.

Successful negotiators are usually assertive and they dare to challenge everything. They know that almost everything is negotiable. Negotiation consciousness  brings the huge difference between negotiators and non negotiators.

Being assertive indicates asking for what you want and refusing to take ‘no’ for an answer. Always practice expressing your feelings without any anxiety or anger.

2. Shut up and listen.

Negotiators are usually considered as detectives. They frequently ask probing questions and then shut up. The other negotiator will tell everything that you want to know .

Many conflicts can be resolved easily if we learn how to listen carefully and actively.

3. Do your homework.

Collect as much as pertinent information  you get prior to your negotiation. Their needs, What pressures do they feel?, What  alternatives do they have? Doing your homework is very crucial for a successful negotiation. One  can't make any accurate decisions without understanding the other side's situation. The more information you have about the people with whom you are negotiating, the more powerful you will be.

4. Always be willing to walk away.

You should never negotiate without any options. If you relay more  on the positive outcome of a negotiation you will lose your ability to say NO. When you say to yourself, "I will walk  away if I can't conclude a deal which is satisfactory".

5. Don't rush

Don’t rush too much. But your patience may be devastating to the other negotiator if they are in a busy schedule because they start to believe that you are not under pressure to conclude the deal.

1. Plan high and expect the best outcome.

Successful negotiators are usually optimists. If one expect more, the more you will get. A proven strategy for achieving better results is opening with an extreme position. Sellers should ask for more than they expect to receive, and buyers should always offer less than they are prepared to pay. People who aim higher are able to perform in a better manner.

7. Focus on the opposite side's pressure, not yours.

We have a tendency to focus on our own pressure, on the reasons why we need to make a deal. It's the traditional thought that the grass being greener in the other person's backyard.

If you fall into this trap, you are working against yourself. The other side will appear more powerful. Whereas focusing on your own limitations, you will miss the big picture. However, the successful negotiators will usually go for asking "What is the pressure on the other side in this negotiation?". You will be more powerful when you realize the reasons for the other side to give in.

8. Show the other person how their needs can  be met.

Successful negotiators always and most ideally looks at the situation from the other’s perspective. Everyone looks at the world with different perspectives. so you are way ahead of the game if you can figure out their perception of the deal. Instead of trying to win the negotiation, seek to understand the other negotiator and show them ways to feel satisfied.

9. Don't give anything away without getting something in return.

Unilateral concessions are usually self-defeating. Whenever you give something away, get something or the other in return. Always carry this motto of "I'll do this if you do that for me." Otherwise you  will have to invite the other negotiator to ask you for additional concessions.

10. Don't take the issues or the other person's behavior so personally.

Often negotiations fail because one or both of the parties get sidetracked by personal issues unrelated to the deal at hand. Successful negotiators mainly focus on solving the problem, which includes: How can one conclude an agreement that respects the needs of both parties? Obsessing over the other negotiator's personality, or over issues which are not directly pertinent to making a deal, can sabotage a negotiation.

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