Question

Is this the ethical thing to do?

A woman learns that her son-in-law fathered an illegitimate child several years before he met her daughter. He and his wife have been happily married for ten years. They are childless. She is sure her daughter is not aware of this and has reason to doubt that she would ever find out about it by herself. The woman feels obliged to tell her, however and does so.

Answer 1

Ethically, it would have only meant sense to the son-in-law, to have revealed it all by himself to his wife because these are relevant facts as it involves a relationship with not only his ex, but also with his child. Somewhere, in the midst of the societal stigma and apprehensions, the son-in-law inadvertently played with the emotions of his current wife as well as with that of his own child. Situation of his ex is though uncertain to comprehend at this juncture. Hence, irrespective of the couple being childless, the fact that the son-in-law concealed such a significant information from his wife, only goes on to prove that their relationship is based on lies and hence cannot really survive for long. A true relationship is based on faith and love that the couple has towards each other. Now, before the repercussions of the same is amplified, I feel it was perfectly fine for the woman to tell her daughter about the same. Ten years was rather a long time for the son-in-law to have gathered to courage to confide in his wife. But in this case, it seems that the son-in-law simply felt it was better to bury the old memories and start afresh without really realizing why it would had been necessary for his wife to know about it. Who knows, his wife may just pardon him and make peace with his child?