Question

In 250 words, What are eight ground rules for difficult dialogues.

Answer 1

Eight ground rules for difficult dialogues are

(1) Use Vegas law

Like in Las Vegas, what happened at the meeting had to be in the meeting. We don't follow this rule because we want to discuss dark secrets of people or bad things about people who are not in the meetings, but because we want people to talk openly about what they think about the table. . If people are worried that what they say will come back to haunt them, they are unlikely to share. Keep things respectful but agree that what is said will not leave the room without everyone's consent.

(2) Solve problems, not people

Too often, when things get hot, people fall into the trap of murderous attacks. This only leads people to become defensive, take on irrelevant positions, and drag unrelated issues to attack. Instead, agree that the team should focus on finding solutions to this problem, not blame and not punish. I often use the phrase "don't do anything personally and don't take things personally" when I set a meeting tone.

(3) To accept positive intentions

I want everyone to agree to solve the problem by assuming all participants are doing their best to help the organization. Whatever their actions or decisions may look back, accept that they all acted in good faith. This will help us focus on finding solutions in the future, not the ones to blame.

(4) Talk now or stay calm forever

Sometimes people are reluctant to speak at meetings. As a facilitator, I do my best to remove the barriers so that people can speak their minds, and I use techniques such as quiet inspiration to adapt different ways of thinking. In return, I want the people to have the courage to say what they have to say during the meeting. I want to avoid situations where teams make decisions and the next day someone comes up with the reserves they have allocated without the effort we put in to reach an agreement.

(5)
Personal experience

You can bring horses to the water, but only they can drink. It is the same with meetings. Gathering people alone will not lead to a meeting. Everyone must be actively involved. This basic law reminds people that if they want a good date, they must commit and debate.

(6)
Attend or elsewhere

When I enter a company with bad dating habits, I often advise them to stick to optional meeting policies to shake things up. He does two things. First, it forces the organizers to have a good meeting with important topics to get people to actually come. Second, it means that anyone who appears will be fully engaged, otherwise why bother to attend.

(7). Have a conversation

While I love intense debate and passionate discussion, chaos will only occur if people have a lot of conversations on top of each other. Insisting on one conversation at a time will allow everyone to fully participate and follow up. If you are dealing with a particularly rude crowd, you can remove the talking stick and go through it to focus the conversation.

(8) Follow the 40-second rule

Mark Goulston, author of Just Listen, explains why some people tend to talk too much in this Harvard Business Review article, how do I know if you talk too much. He says that when someone talks for more than 40 seconds, people start to feel like they are shaking. I encourage my team to know how long they talk and find ways to pass on to others in half minutes or more.