Question

I need this reviewed, reworded and shorten please?!

Reading the letter above my initial response would be that the language and attitude shown in the letter is very rude and impolite. It focuses more on blaming the customer for the damage than providing with any materialistic solution. Customer satisfaction might drop after receiving such a response from the dealer for her claim. The negative review about the company can spread adversely by word of mouth and diminish the company's image. Refusal should be done in a polite and positive manner rather than being rude and offensive. In this case though the clauses the employer has put are right but the way they are put is offensive and rude hence it can put a negative impact.

The weaknesses that this letter shows are:

Being personally offensive - the technician states that he has not seen such a gunky phone interior' This statement is not professional and does not specify the fault in the phone that the customer is specifying but talking about how the phone has been handled generally. It is an offensive attitude towards the customer.

Being rude - did not bother to arrange a backup' this is a rude statement and could be put up in a much polite manner.

Negative marketing strategy - suggesting buying a new phone where the customer wants to replace this one at zero cost is a wrong strategy to sell the product for which the customer will never agree.

Too much of blaming - the phone is damaged due to some careless mistake of the customer. Instead of blaming the customer all through for their fault and making them feel even worse about the damage, polite ways can be used to pacify the customer and provide alternative ways.

Unprofessional and callous - giving less and unfavorable options employer is directly asking to let them know what the customer wants to do. This may result in negative results only as customer will get an impression of unprofessionalism from the employer.

Sounding only business minded and selfish- the employer has given only options that are favorable for the employer rather than putting up a win situation for both the parties. The customer will not want to take up any of the options in this way and might even not want to deal with the employer in future seeing their selfish intentions.

If I was the customer, even though initially it would be my fault in damaging the phone but with the attitude and rude response of the employer I would be severely offended and livid. I might take the matter up to the higher management of the company putting up my issue and the way it was handled and responded. I might even lose the trust in the company for any further dealing and leave the same impression on my social network for the rudeness and unprofessionalism I received from them. Even if buying a new phone was the option I was left with, I would not be buying it from the employer due to their negative attitude.

Answer 1

first 2 lines are okay, keep that. replace 3rd and 4th line with this.

customer satisfaction might drop due to such rude response which can be harmful to the company in the long run as bad review can easily spread via social media, word of mouth and negetively impacting company's reputation.

continue with this line: in this case though the company technician have some correct points, he should had dealt with the customer polietly, instead of in a rude and offensive manner.

the weaknesses of this letter are:

• being personally offensive: the technician states that he has not. seen such a gunky phone interior. this statement is rude and offensive, instead of stating the specific problem with the phone he gives a generic response.
• remove the second point as it is very similar to the first point and in the third point negetive marketing strategy; suggesting to buy a new phone is not negetive marketing, instead what you can say that lack of attention to customer needs.
• merge the too much blaming point with the first point.
• unprofessional and callous: even though the customer might be at fault, the technician should handle the situation with tact. he should listen to customer grievances before suggesting any solutions and should stop blaming the customer as it is unprofessional. remember customer is always right, it is the basic marketing strategy.
• last point is correct instead of employer write technician.

in the next paragraph remove the word initially if i were the customer, even if it is my fault that damaged the phone, but the unprofessional and rude attitude of the company technician would be severly offending.keep the rest except change the last lin with: even if buying a new phone is the only option i have, i would not be buying from this company due to their rude and unprofessional behaviour.