When we are involved in a friendship, we accept the person as
they are and try to understand them and make them feel understood.
However, in relationships there can be few reasons that make us
less accepting and understanding towards the same person:
- Unusual or unrealistic demands: Romanticism was an era that
changed the outlook of how a romantic relationship should look and
feel like. It took away the practicality from a relationship. The
art, poems, movies, songs are the products of the era of
romanticism. These causes us to form unrealistic expectations in
our mind and unknowingly we follow it. Since that is all we have
known all our lives and we do not any other way of how a romantic
relationship should look like. Friendship is not romanticized and
is therefore healthy and free of unrealistic demands. Whereas,
romantic relationships are, and causes unrealistic demands from the
other person which is pressurizing on both ends.
- Dependency: Another detrimental product of romanticism is we
tend to rely for our every need on the romantic partner. It is not
possible for one person to fulfill all areas and enjoy everything
with us. It is important to separate our personal lives and enjoy
time and doing activities with friends, family, cousins and most
importantly with ourselves.
- Ideal partner: All of us have some mental image of a person
that we want to spend our life with. We often tend to compare that
image with the real person. And when these two do not match, we try
to make it happen unknowingly, which might lead to bickering,
nagging, arguments. When we are friends with the person, we accept
them the way they are. But when we are involved in a romantic
relation with them, we try to match the image in our mind
unknowingly with the real person and we start trying to change them
or not like this or that about them. When the expectations are not
met it causes unrest and tensions.
Since it takes two to tango, this explanation can be for both
end of the relationship.