We all know that end of a relationship hurts everyone. But it
will hurt all the more if we leave the relationship without our
self-esteem intact. The definition of healthy self-esteem is
realising your worth and not needing validation from another's.
Here are some methods we can give to our breakup friend to boost
his self esteem.
- Mourn your relationship: Mourn the loss,but grieve without
attacking yourself. Reflect on your past but don't let it stop you
building your future.
- Forgive yourself: Learn to forgive yourself and your ex. Accept
that relationship ended. It must be a very hard time ,so you need
to forgive yourself.
- Put boundaries in place: You need to build a self respecting
distance between yourselves , so that you can move on and avoid
being hurt.
- Practice realistic thinking: Reflect different aspects of
relationship and find why the relationship didn't work,without
blame involved. There was a reason behind the break up ,but you
don't need to blame yourself and carry that with you.
- Accept and acknowledge your emotions: Try not to ignore your
feelings but learn to leave them alone without constant engagement.
Look at the mirror and say how you really feel, say ' I am angry'
or ' I am lonely' ,and then say but that's ok,' I love and accept
myself'.
- Question your inner critic: Inner voice can be changed by you
only. Blame your inner critic with your inner cheer leader.
- Fulfil your needs so you can rely on yourself: You are the only
one that can really make yourself feel loved and valued. Once you
become more powerful, and fulfil these needs yourself You will
start to feel happier .
- Realise you are not the many things that your ex said about
you: Once you can acknowledge that they lost your self esteem ,then
you can build your self worth. You define you.
- Be kind to others: One way to continually cultivate and expand
the love within is to think about serving others. Service is one of
the great self esteem booster.
Past is past. Use your breakup as a springboard to practice self
love and rebuild confidence.