Question

The CEO has given her secretary this material for a memo, but it is highly un-organized. Rewrite the memo so that the main point is first, that the memo flows in a much more logical order. Delete information not relevant to the main idea. Use strong subjects and verbs -- in other words, employ the principles we talked about in the lesson on writing.

To employees at a call center

I’m hoping you can send out a memo for me to all phone operators. As you might or might not be aware of, we’ve had some problems lately with operators asking for breaks, or simply taking them, at all sorts of time during their shift. While we are happy to be flexible, we do have a job to do and must have a certain amount of operators manning the phones at all times. Several times the phones have rung and rung with not enough people to answer them. Several supervisors have complained to me that their people have argued with them about combining their breaks and meal break to get an hour at one time. I feel like I need to put my foot down so that each supervisor doesn’t have to make their own decision. We need to remind folks of our policy on breaks and meal breaks through the day. Remind telephone operators that they should take the two 15 minute breaks allotted to them generally about halfway through a four-hour work period. If they want or need to take a break during another time, they should talk with their supervisor. But let folks know this should be under extraordinary circumstances. Stress that these should be extraordinary circumstances so we can count on enough people to be on the phones through the day. Meal breaks should be taken roughly halfway through their shift, but they should be coordinated with their supervisor. Several times, we’ve lost folks we were counting on, only to find that they were on break. Phone operators can stay at their desks and work on personal business, or simply each lunch, as long as they are not tying up resources. We’d prefer, though, that they go to the break rooms or leave their cubicles. We don’t want people to create the perception that they’re doing personal tasks during work time. I often eat at my desk but of course I’m not salaried employee. Oh, and we don’t want folks saving up their breaks and leaving work early. We need to staff our phones from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. Our staggered schedule allows us to do that, but not if folks create their own schedules. Do people have to take their breaks? Yes, they do -- federal law mandates it. So tell them they just can’t skip the breaks, though why they’d want to I don’t know. By the way, it looks like we’ll be hiring in the new fiscal year, as we go ahead with that expansion into the Southeast. Should be about 20 to 25 new phone operators.

Answer 1

Answer: Rewriting the Memo:

To employees at a call center

I'm trusting you can convey a notice for me to all telephone operators. As you would or probably won't know about, we've had a few issues lately with operators asking for breaks, or taking them, at such time during their workday. While we are happy to be adaptable, we do have a vocation to do and should have a certain amount of operators manning the telephones on all occasions. We have to help people to remember our approach on breaks and meal breaks for the day.

Remind phone operators that they should take the two brief breaks allotted to them generally about halfway through a four-hour work period. Multiple times, we've lost people we were depending on, just to find that they were on break. Telephone operators can stay at their work areas and work on personal business, or just each lunch, as long as they are not tying up assets. Our staggered plan allows us to do that, however not if people create their timetables.

Ought to be about 20 to 25 new telephone operators.

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