Question

Should children be present at their mother’s labor and sibling’s birth? If so, what type of preparation programs should be made available, and what criteria should be met beforehand?

Answer 1

The experts who favor having a child present say that it can be a powerful and positive experience for the child and that having the child present contributes to a feeling of family closeness. A child of any age will need some preparation for this experience. No matter how wonderful it can be to watch a baby being born, it can also be very frightening for a child to see his mother in pain.

These suggestions may help:

Discuss the mechanics of labor with your child. Read books and watch videos on childbirth together. Explain to your child that there will be blood, and that you'll be making unfamiliar, possibly alarming, sounds.

Assign one adult to care exclusively for your child during the birth. Choose someone with whom your child has a positive relationship and feels comfortable talking. If your child is uncomfortable and shows signs of wanting to leave, this support person must follow his or her lead.

Keep in mind that childbirth is an incredibly powerful experience and that no matter how well you prepare your child, or how old or mature he is, it could still be traumatic for him.

If the hospital or birthing center has a "family room" separate from the birthing room, encourage your child and his support person to use it to play, watch TV, or read. This will give your child the option of coming and going when he wants. Make it clear that it's okay to go into the delivery room afterthe baby is born.

If you have a younger child, consider inviting him into the delivery room only for the actual moment of birth. Asking a young child to endure his mom's entire labor could be very hard on him.

Feel free to change your own mind about having your child at the birth. You may decide that you feel uncomfortable having him present, that it makes you feel self-conscious or unfocused.

After delivery, when you've recovered sufficiently, discuss the birth with your child. Ask for his impressions of the experience, and try to address any lingering fears or concerns he may have.