In: Psychology
The Four Loves by C.S Lewis
1. Define “gift-love” and “need-love” (1). Which is more like God? What problem does Lewis run into when he tries to determine which is best? (2-4)
2. Explain the difference between ‘nearness-by-likeness’ and ‘by- approach’ (4-5). How does the distinction guard help us guard against the tendency of “every human love, at its highest ... to claim for itself a divine authority” (7-8)?
1. Gift-love is that love that makes an individuals work for their loved ones in the family, offer themselves, their protection and their earnings for their loved without any return. Gift love is the type of love how God has loved human beings by offering his only Son at the cross for the salvation of mankind from sin. This is the love that offers assurance and protection from God without anything in return.
Need-love: This love is the very nature of humans, as they feel to wanted and belong to each other. This love makes humans to go to the protection and love of God. This love helps humans depend upon God and go closer and closer to him each day. This love not only helps to establish relationship with God, but, also with each other. Humans depend and interact with each other because of this love.
The problem that Lewis sees is, God's love for humans in Gift-love form is perfect and pure in form. But when humans follow this they pursue their own selfishness intentionally or unintentionally. As when they give to other they would pursue it for their happiness though they may not receive anything from the persons who has received from them. Need love makes humans more humane, but mostly when their needs are fulfilled they forget or their love diminishes.
2. "Nearness-by-likeness" means humans are created in the likeness of God. This nearness by likeness is given to them whether they acknowledge it or not with gratitude to towards him. Whereas, " by-approach" is increasing likeness intentionally by following the ways that God has given and thus, is an active way of growing in likeness of God. But, while doing so they should be humble, refrain from arrogance and selfishness, and should forgive others.
The human forms of love cannot claim to be perfect as the divine love of God because they are born out of weakness and temptations of humans. Though they claim to divine but are not long lasting as God's divine love as they do not lead to humbleness and do not forgive the wrongs of other humans that easily as God's love does. Thus, inorder to to be grow in love of God and grow more near or closer to God, humans should follow "nearness-by-approach" than by "nearness-by-likeness", as the latter would only lead to vanity and arrogance.