Question

Concise and Concrete Sentences   

Directions: Carefully read each of the following sentences; rewrite each making it concise and concrete. Make each sentence as short as possible without losing essential detail and as specific and detailed as necessary to convey its meaning. DO NOT change the meaning or drop any essential details of any sentence. After reading your sentence, your reader should have no questions about the intended message.

EX.: The employee told me I could receive money back.

Correction: George, the manager, told me I could receive $12.38 back. This is no longer, yet it is detailed enough so you understand the facts of the matter.

With a smile on her face, our manager informed us that at this point in time we need to notify the auditors of the planned meeting next week.

The agent notified him that his flight was early Thursday morning.

A customer last evening complained that she had received poor customer service.

Doug was told that he would receive a monetary reward in the near future for winning the competition.

Employees who meet the eligibility requirements were told that they needed to come to decisions regarding whether they wished to avail themselves of the newly announced increases in reimbursement prior to the last day of the week of the current quarter.

Since Sharron will be on vacation soon, she was happy to hear that the next sales incentive meeting will be held in the near future.

The recruiter assured me that I would enjoy working for XYZ, Inc. because their profits are up and their benefits are good.

The new employee in the purchasing department said he was sure we could get the new equipment we needed because there was still some money in our account. The manager asked someone to go to Office Max and buy some supplies. The auditor claimed that the accountant’s report was not good.

Answer 1