Question

Read the following email message, and do as directed: (10 marks each)

Analyze the message and point out the weaknesses, mention the points citing an example from the message.

Rewrite the message to improve the effectiveness.

Subject: Printing costs are out of control

I am not sure what everyone is printing or even who is doing all the unnecessary printing, but a look in the recycling bin showed a number of areas of waste:

Printouts of email messages

Unneeded copies of document

Draft copies of documents containing errors

Blank (or almost blank) sheets containing only page numbers or empty spreadsheet cells

This wasteful practice has to stop. Therefore, I had no choice but to remove all printers and photocopiers from the office and replace them with a single printer/photocopier.

This, of course, means that printing will not be as fast or as convenient as it has been, but the old machines were noisy, inefficient, and a possible cause of indoor pollution, so I know that everyone will welcome the change. I expect everyone to work towards reducing their thoughtless use of valuable resources by not printing out email messages, finding other ways to reduce paper waste, and sending large orders to Document Processing.

To ensure that this happens, the new printer/ copier will require you to enter an individual ID code before printing so that print volumes can be recorded. No further action will be taken with this information right now, but if wasteful printing is not reduced during next 3 months, heads will roll.

Answer 1

Some major weaknesses in the message are grammatically incorrect such as-

1. “A look in the recycling Bin showed a number of areas of waste”
2. “ Unneeded copies of document”
3. “This wasteful practice has to stop”
4. Old machines are noisy, inefficient and indoor pollution in not the right cause for removal of printers from the office.
5. “Reducing thoughtless use of valuable resources” is grammatically incorrect.

Improved message can be written as-

I do not know who is engaged in unnecessary printing but looking at recycle bin, I discovered various areas of waste like- Printout of email messages, draft printed copies of documents with errors, unnecessary copies of documents, blank sheets just with numbering, etc. This practice has to be stopped. The only option left is to remove all the printers from the office except only one printer. Although, it will take time but will save the printing cost. I hope everyone will welcome the change. I expect that everyone will work on reducing unnecessary waste of valuable resources by not printing email messages and also find ways to reduce paper waste. To have a record on printing volumes, the new printer will ask for individual ID code before printing. No other action is taken as of now but if waste is not reduced in the next 3 months, heads will roll.