Question

Case study (questions 22–23)                                                                                                                        Read this case study then answer the questions that follow.

Tua works in a busy care facility that provides care to many people who have memory loss.

Recently Tua finds himself feeling frustrated at the people he is providing care for. He notices himself wishing they would hurry up and stop asking such repetitive questions.

Yesterday Tua noticed that he was rushing Janice, a lady with dementia, when he was assisting her to shower. Tua knows that people with dementia need extra time, but he also felt like he did not have enough time because of the stress of all the things he still had left to do.

22. Why is it important for Tua to be aware of and monitor his stressful feelings when working with people who have memory loss?

23. What kind of help and self-care strategies could Tua use when he is not coping with stress on his own?

Answer 1

22. Caregivers sometimes feel that they must be doing something wrong if they are feeling tired or stressed. In addition to the stress they already feel, they think they are not good caregivers. But experts have explained that dementia care is the most stressful type of caregiving and that many dementia caregivers suffer from depression.

Sometimes, you may be extremely anxious, sad, or depressed.

Many caregivers don’t talk about their problems even to close friends and relatives because they face criticism or very unrealistic advice. The “joint family system” often fails to give support. There are often misunderstandings and conflicts even within the family.

There may be many reasons why you have reached a state where you are so anxious or disheartened that you don’t see how you can get out of it. You may suspect you are severely depressed but don’t know what to do about it.

If so, consider talking to a counselor or psychiatrist. Do not despair if you don’t know any counselor. Do not worry if you cannot leave home to go and meet a counselor or you are worried about privacy and confidentiality. Even from your home, without anyone else knowing, you can use phones and email to contact organizations that help persons in distress. These organizations have trained volunteers who give confidential help to persons who feel alone, depressed, and even suicidal. Contact them as soon as you feel you need help. You don’t have to wait till you are totally overwhelmed to reach out for such help. See the references section at the bottom of the page for resources for such help.

23. To get help, consider the following:

• Let people know more about the impact of dementia and the amount of work in caregiving
• Make sure they know you need help
• If people make unsuitable suggestions, express gratitude for their having tried to help. Do not dismiss it outright. Gently explain why the suggestion is not suitable.
• Ask for help for specific tasks, keeping in mind the type of person offering help.
  • For persons who seem uncomfortable seeing someone with dementia, choose errands that need to be done and do not require interacting
• If someone seems uncomfortable about interacting, ask for help to do other errands instead.
• Let people know of the types of things you need help for. Then they can decide what they want to offer to do.
• Try not to sound like you are complaining.
• Ask for emotional support only from persons who understand the situation and are comfortable listening to you. Sometimes overwhelmed caregivers talk to everyone they meet about their problems. But most people cannot handle this and start backing off. Be careful about whom you expect emotional help from.

In general, use most people for tasks that need to be done and get some direct relief from work. To get emotional support, select a few persons who can listen without judgment and who understand and are empathetic.