Question

Define each dialectical tension that surfaces within relationships. Identify a dialectical tension in one of your interpersonal relationships. Explain how this tension has affected the relationship and identify/explain the strategy (or strategies) you use to manage the dialectical tension.

Explain a current conflict you are having with a friend or loved one. Apply the win-win method to arrive at a solution using all six steps as though you were speaking to your partner.

Answer 1

• The theory, proposed respectively by Leslie Baxter and Barbara Montgomery in 1988, defines communication patterns between relationship partners as the result of endemic dialectical tensions. When making decisions, desires and viewpoints that often contradict one another are brought up and lead to dialectical tensions.
• Dialectical tensions, defined as opposing forces that people experience in their relationships, are important for relational development. Predictability-novelty, for instance, is an example of a tension manifested by partners simultaneously desiring predictability and spontaneity in their relationships.
• According to the original relational dialectic model, there were many core tensions (opposing values) in any relationship.These are autonomy and connectedness, favoritism and impartiality, openness and closedness, novelty and predictability, instrumentality and affection, and finally, equality and inequality.
• Autonomy and connectedness refers to the desire to have ties and connections with others versus the need to separate oneself as a unique individual. An example of autonomy and connectedness would be an athlete, who wants to feel like they are part of a team but also wanting to highlight their individual talents.
• Favoritism and impartiality refers to the desire to be treated fairly and impartially versus the desire to be seen and known as "special". For instance, a professor may want to be impartial by creating an attendance policy but makes exceptions for students who participate in class and have good grades, demonstrating favoritism.
• Openness and closedness refers to the desire to be open and divulge information versus the desire to be exclusive and private. When chatting with a boss about one's weekend, there is the desire to be open, however, closedness is also at play, as certain details are often left out, because of the context.
• Novelty and predictability suggest that there is a desire for the relationship to be predictable versus the desire for it to be original and new. When creating scheduled meetings for board members, the predictability may lie in a fixed schedule, however the novelty may be in scheduling a varying number of locations to peak interests as well as inspiration.
• Instrumentality and affection, is the desire for affection to be genuine versus the desire for affection to be motivated by benefits and perceived advantages of the relationship. An example of this would be being in a romantic relationship based on love and affection, but maintaining it for benefits such as financial security.
• Finally, equality and inequality refers to the desire to be considered as equals versus the desire to develop levels of superiority. A female in the military may seek treatment equivalent to that received by her male colleagues, but requires special barracks and adjusted assignments.
• For example,a relational dialect which I have witnessed between my close friends,I would share that.Two of my friends are in a relationship,and the girl is employed in her boyfriend's office. The couple understands that for the betterment of their relationship, they have to stay close to each other since they are able to spend more time with each other.
• But they also understand the need to have their own space and be their own person since they also have a professional relationship to look after. Thus, this competing state of autonomy (having own space) and connectedness (as a couple) is dialectics
  
• So basically they dealt with this problem through the reaffirmation strategy. Reaffirmation refers to the process of accepting the tension as a normal and healthy part of a relationship for managing relational dialectics.So,they have accepted that at work,they are not a couple and just co-workers and after the working hours they can spend time as a couple.They understand this tension and have worked their way through it.
• Due to time limit,remaining can be asked as another question,they will be answered,thankyou for your cooperation